New meanings

It's been one of those days when you have nothing better to do than think up stupid stuff. You do this because you're over stressed and all the important thoughts have taken a toll on your now "full" brain. So while I stopped at the local Dunkin's for some sweet drinks for me and Bubba, I let one go. That's right. I farted. C'mon, now! We all do it but when I do it in front of Bubba (soon to be 14 years old) it's like a competition has begun. Except, this time instead of telling him I farted, I said that I "booty-tooted". That led on to nearly an hour of hilarity with names and meanings that I kept thinking of for the pure pleasure of side splitting laughter. Herewith is some of my new vocabulary:

• Booty-toot: fart
• Inserting my toes in your tooter: kick your ass
• Stuffin' toot: anal sex
• toot stuffed: anal retentive
• spreading booty: random sex

Let's see what other witty "bootyisms" we can come up with and I'll post them to my blog. There are a few more I could put here but I didn't want to be to crass so I'll leave that up to any of my readers.

So says Amma today!

Lots to Learn

I just got done looking up some stuff about autism. We're fairly certain that our most adorable son is autistic, or rather, has autism spectrum disorder. So I went to the good old web and Holy Crap! was I surprised. There's so much info that by the time I read everything I should instantly be awarded a bachelors degree! So far, I've figured out that a lot of the therapies that are used to teach autistic kids are exactly the same ones that his speech therapist uses. I've also kinda figured out that he's a high functioning autistic which means it's very possible that he can learn enough so that he might even attend college one day. Now all I have to do is get hard working, minimal time for anything dad to read up on this stuff so he'll be informed as well. So I decided to try to print all this stuff out and of course my computer is sloooooooooow and then I had to order ink and blah blah blah. It's been a fun day, but a good learning experience. One that I'll be learning for quite awhile.

Meanwhile, other daughter had an "incident" with her uncle (my brother aka "black sheep") and has now decided that he needs to be in a supervised home of some kind because she can't deal with him anymore. After some discussion about this, I totally agree. He has his medical and physical ailments which include Busch beer so it's not too good having him around baby Mia.
At this point all we can do is say a prayer and wish him well. Elder care is tough, especially when you live in a state that gives you so few resources. At least it's different when you need to take care of a child, then there's tons of stuff for the kids. It's just that the child can't be 62 years old! I just hope my kids would want to take care of me but that I'm not so bad that we can't enjoy each other. Otherwise, put me in a home! Or send me to Sweden where they actually take care of their elderly.....for free! At least I'll finally get to see Sweden, my lifelong travel dream.
Tomorrow it's on to Mass. to celebrate Messy J's 8th birthday with a big cookout and bash at some local park. We'll pick up big brother Bubba on the way and it looks like the weather will be good so we look forward to having a blast. I hear there'll be a clown with balloons which son will be thrilled with so I'm off to bed to rest up for all the driving and fun.

So ends Amma's rants of the day.

Another month

Well, another month has passed by. Nonetheless, Happy August and Happy Birthday to Jessie who turns 8 today. She's the granddaughter who has the same red hair as her aunty along with the same stubborn Swede streak. Big cookout party on Saturday for her. Now I just need to find her something really cool for an 8 year old besides Barbie and Polly Pockets. Maybe it's time we got her interested in reading. Off to the bookstore then!

Huz and I saw the boob guy yesterday and got informed. I also got sized up for implants which huz seemed to enjoy watching. It was actually pretty interesting stuff but we were left wondering that after the new boob is done and doesn't quite match the right one, will we have to pay for "symmetry"? I think it's an option to have a "lift" done to old boob but I don't think insurance will pay and boob guy thinks I'd probably want it done. More $$$ to spend that won't be going to the retirement fund. Now I just need to know how much the tummy tuck is and maybe we can get that done before the 2008 bathing suit season!! And when I win the lottery, I won't care how much I spend.......I'm doing it all!!

Speaking of the lottery: Have you ever been at the store when someone is cashing in on their small lottery winnings and they win like $100 and instead of doing something like buy a week's groceries (they usually look like they could use some food) they just spend it on more lottery tickets???? I once hit it big for just over $500 and I spread the wealth. My grandson was soon to be born so I paid off his mom's layaway of baby stuff, bought more baby stuff and used the rest to buy a few things for the house and for upcoming vacation. I don't even think I bought another lottery ticket right away. People don't realize that instead of narrowing the chances of winning they actually increase (big time) the odds of winning. These are the same people that have a "strategy" when they hit the casinos in Vegas. Any thoughts here??

So ends Amma's rant of the day. Have a fabulous August. Enjoy the rest of summer.